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  • Foto van schrijverCarla Rosseels

Writing and saying your wedding vows

Saying one’s vows is not only legally required, but also a very touching part of every wedding ceremony, big or small. There are many ways to go about writing and saying your vows. You can choose traditional vows and repeat them after the celebrant. Or you can write personal ones and read them from a little piece of paper, or even from your smartphone.

Only very seldom do people learn there vows by heart (I do remember one very ambitious and high performing bride though) and only twice I had it happen that people spoke spontaneously, straight from their heart (and wow, we were all blown away). But that's not everyone's cup of tea. Being well prepared and either repeating after the celebrant or reading their vows themselves, is what most couples prefer, and that's perfectly fine.

Tips on writing your vows

Couples sometimes don’t know how to start or get stuck when writing their personal vows. The most important thing to remember is that you are making a promise to the one you love best in the world, the one you are marrying. It’s that simple and that’s your starting point - the love you have for your partner. Now, imagine that you are telling your best friend what you love so much about your partner, what do you like especially about him or her and what do you want to be for the other as a husband or a wife? What do you want to offer them in your marriage? What hopes and dreams do you have about your marriage?

With a little help from your celebrant

As a celebrant I often send couples examples of traditional and personal vows to inspire them. Sometimes I also help hem finalize their vows by tidying up what they have written and putting the sentences in a smooth order. When the couple keeps their vows as a surprise for the day, they sometimes send me their vows from their private email addresses and I check if they are more or less the same length and if they have the same ‘feel’ to them, be it rather formal, lovey-dovey or even a bit cheeky …

All is possible as long as it suits the style and personality of the lovebirds.

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