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  • Foto van schrijverCarla Rosseels

"You can always make up for everything"

Bijgewerkt op: 1 sep. 2021

These were the words of children's author and psychotherapist GodeLiva Uleners. I got to know her when I heard her speak on the radio about the beneficial effects of psychotherapy, how it helps to heal wounds, let go of destructive patterns and be more free in life. That was exactly what I needed when I was 27, so I went to see her and settled on her sofa.

GodeLiva wrote the book The 7 times of the little lamb Pam, about the developmental stages that every child goes through. She describes the experiences we must have and the messages we must receive in order to develop into emotionally mature and securely attached adults. The book was not only fascinating for children, it also allowed adults to discover what they might have lacked when they were growing up: love and nurturing for instance, or the permission to explore the world, to say no, to be sexual, ... The last stage, from 18 to 188 years, is called the stage of 'recycling': we are always able to recycle ourselves and to make up for what we missed out on in earlier phases of our lives.

I often think of GodeLiva’s words now that many young people have missed out on important transitions or unique experiences due to the pandemic. Graduating in large numbers for instance or an overseas apprenticeship.

Also, due to the pandemic, people who have faced a death in the past year have not always been able to say goodbye as they wished, or they had to say goodbye in a very small circle while they had wanted a larger social network around them.

If people have not been able to grieve properly after a death, they are often left with unresolved feelings of grief. This is called 'delayed' or 'unresolved' grief. As a result, people don't feel well, they may be depressed or at least not able to fully participate in life again.

Can we really make up for those unique moments or those crucial experiences that we missed? Is that really possible?

That question prompted me to write my ebook 'Making up for what you missed out on'. The book explores different themes: youth and the pandemic, catching up on developmental stages and healing our 'inner child', delayed or unresolved grief and finally, making a fresh, new start.

This ebook offers you insights, stories and rituals to work with when you want to make up for experiences you missed out on. At the end we focus on making a fresh start and opening up again to all the beautiful, wonderful and fun experiences that life has to offer!

For readers aged 18 to 188

MAKING UP FOR WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON - Healing Rituals Ebook, PDF, 35 pages, 10.000 words USD 9.97

And here's the link to the Dutch version:

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